i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
