I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize