Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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