The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
