$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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