I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
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he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
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WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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