i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
