If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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