It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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