so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
