I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
