u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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