Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
