I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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