In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
