Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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