I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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