What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
