yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
