Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
