Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Sext me about skeletons
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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