Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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