Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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