Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
