Nicole vs. Life
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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