If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
