Kareoke will never be a sober sport
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
