Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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