I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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