The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
soo... how was my night?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
