the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
