I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
