Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
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She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
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You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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