I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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