Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
