I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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