I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
