the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
