My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
