Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
