This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
