their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
