So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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