I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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