i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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