you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
