okay pat passed out under dana's car
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
