I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
