I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
