smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
