Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize