woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i think i have herpe
just one?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
