I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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