Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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