You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
