Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
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I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
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Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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