i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
