I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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