she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
