yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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