i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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