you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
