I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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