did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
