last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
