I showed him my bush... on skype.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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